Teaching Children to Obey

When directing or correcting a child, use this simple process consistently for success:

1-     Attention: Get the child’s undivided attention.

2-     Directions: Give the child clear directions with a reasonable time frame.

3-     No Yelling: Expect the child to obey.  If he or she does not obey, do not yell or nag. 

4-     Action: If the child did not obey, take immediate action with appropriate discipline. 

If you yell or nag you are wasting your breath and energy, and further training the child not to listen until you have raised your voice or nagged them to death with your request.

It has been my experience and observation that most parents fail on step 4.  By failing to take action they train the child that they didn’t really mean what they said and the child knows from experience at what point his or her parents will be ready to take action.

Appropriate discipline can take the form of several different methods:

• Logical Consequences- Let the punishment fit the crime.   Example: When Junior leaves his bike out in the rain after you had told him to bring it in, he could have his bike taken away for a period of time.
• Natural Consequences- Do nothing and allow the child to suffer the consequences of having not listened to you.  Example:  When Missy didn’t hang her towel up after swimming, she had to use a dirty one the next time.
• Spanking- “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” Proverbs 22:15.  Spanking should be used only when the children are young, from toddler to early elementary ages.  Do not over-spank and do reassure the child of your love.  Never spank in anger.

Remember to praise the children when they do obey.  You can offer tangible rewards, but use these sparingly.

Most importantly, be consistent.  You will be rewarded with well-behaved respectful children that will grow into well-behaved respectful young adults.